Wednesday, 13 February 2008

Finalists, finalists

Well, I didn't make the finalists of Nathan's first page contest. But that's okay. It only takes one agent, after all, one publisher, and millions and millions of readers. But first, the book must be finished. Of which, I'm happy to report, I've finished 27.5 chapters. Let me write that out for you once again. Twenty-frickin-seven and a HALF. That's a lot. I figure I'm a little under 1/2 finished, which is astounding. 

I don't know if I'm going to have to cut or add when I finally type it all in Gunther, as I'm unsure how my writing translates into pages. I can certainly add more description, etc etc., but will wait to see what the final word count is of the end result. Anyway, one of the readers of Nathan's blog offered to critique those that contacted him about it. So, of course I did. His name is CHRO, and he had this to say about my first page (first draft): 

JKB - The Katsinam (This sounds like a broadway musical mixed with Apocalypse now. Get it? "Cats in 'Nam"? Nudge nudge? Yeah, I'll shut up now. Oh, and to answer your question, JKB, Wiesbaden and Heidelberg.)

This started off well, then sort of petered off. A threat that disappears before the end of the first page isn't a threat -- it's a manufactured conflict that disappears before you've hooked the reader. Also, why don't you tell us her name? As I've been told by people wiser than me, not telling us the name of the main character or narrator makes it harder for us to identify with them. 

He's got a couple good points here, and I've noted them for my typing phase. I didn't say her name, and I can easily change that with the bullies…and I could transfer to the next aspect of the story very easily. I don't necessarily need those three or so paragraphs; and to be frank, they are probably just puffing up space.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

27.5 chapters - WOW! Congratulations :-)