Monday, 23 February 2009

Interviews with a Kitteh

(Faithfully translated from the LOLCAT by Jen - Tooloose's original comments are in parenthesis after my translations)

 

This is Yoda here. It would be my privilege and honor to introduce the feline author Tooloose, the owner of Patricia Wood, for an interview on this, my human's, blog. I feel the lack of feline authors in the blogosphere should be addressed in some way.


Yoda: Portrait of the interviewer as a young cat


Tooloose: Many felines find focus as a writer although they toil in relative obscurity and their craft is stolen from them (THER IZ LOTS OF CATZ WHO WRIT BUT THER OWNERZ TAK CRIDIT FR THER WROK)

Tooloose: Portrait of the interviewee as an author cat


Yoda: Tooloose, it's been said that a writer's muse is normally his cat. Have you found this an interesting dichotomy?


Tooloose: I find the concept amusing. (I EATS MUSES. THEY IS GUD BUT HARD TO CATCH. GECKOS IS SLOWER.) 

 

Yoda: Who would be your muse, then?

  

Tooloose: Who needs a muse when I am my own best? (I DO NOT NAM MY FUD BUT FUL TUMMY MAKS ME TIRED AND I HAF TO SLEP. WHEN I SLEP I THINK ABUT BEING A FAMUS WRITTER AND GETING PRISES AND MUNEE.) 

 

Yoda: What is your writing method?


Tooloose: I'm a free-former of the writing craft. (I THINK ABUT WRITTING ALOT. THEN I PLAY WITH THE PAPUR. DISTRACTIONS IZ HARD.) 


 

Yoda: How do you handle it all? I'm very admiring of your discipline, but when do you have time to clean yourself?


Tooloose: I have servants. (I DUNT. MY SISTAH DUZ IT.)


 

Yoda: Do you really feel it's necessary that you have hair as a feline? I've not found that I miss it.


Tooloose: I appreciate your follically-challenged state. (YOU DUNT HAF HAIR? WIERD.) 


 

Yoda: Do you feel stigmatised, as a Space Monkey Alien Romance feline writer in a human world? How do you overcome this?


Tooloose: Someone must be the light in the darkness. (IT'S HARD BUT WHEN I SLEP I FURGET ABUT IT.) 


 

Yoda: What are books that inspire you?


Tooloose: My most used are relatively obtuse; I doubt you have heard of them. (BIG ONES THAT HAV SOFT COVURS THAT I CAN LAY ON AND SLEP.) 

 

Yoda: Could you give us a short intro to your current literary masterpiece?


Tooloose: It's extremely complicated. (THEZ GUYS THEY DO SUM STUFF AND THEN GIT ETEN BY ALIEN SPAZ MONKEE) 

 

Yoda: Do you find your human takes your successes as her own? (Hey!! - JKB)


Tooloose: It's a depressing fact of life. (YEZ BUT  I MUZ SUFUR FER MY ART AND I MAK HER SUFUR TOO...)


Note: Tooloose can also be found over at Pat's Blog

5 comments:

Heidi said...

So funny! Love those translations!

ORION said...

I am TOOOLOOOSE wen du I get mi chek?

marsh to the fore said...

This is so funny! You've also been tuned into our kitties!

JKB said...

TOOLOOSE, Yoda said something about a check and tuna, but he thought it was for himself? You might have to check into that with him.

Heidi, thanks. Those translations were hard to do man...and Marsh, cats are an entirely different beast than dogs. I don't even think a dog I know would be into interviewing another of their ilk, much less promote a campaign of interviews, as Yoda has.

pseudosu said...

Awesomeness!
BTW-- back in the day there was a punk song I was super into that went "space monkey, so out of time time..."
Ring any bells?